For about two years one of the most intimidating places in my town was the donut shop. I love donuts, particularly the bakery kind and not the mass-produced stuff from certain chains. My kids love donuts, and one of our best father-children activities is a Saturday morning trip to the donut store. Even though we love them, going to the donut store has often been uncomfortable.
You see, at our donut store there are a number of unwritten rules. For example, you are not supposed to even move towards the counter until you know your exact order and can spit it out fast. Breaking this rule gets a number of sighs and frowns from the workers. There is also the rule that you can only pay cash unless your order is about $10. In fact, for a while they wouldn’t even sell you a few donuts if you only had a card. That gets awkward, by the way. There are other unwritten rules such as what to with your baskets when done and which tables you can sit at if you are under 60 years old. It can actually be a pretty intimidating place for the newcomer.
I’m sure it did not start out that way, but over time I would guess that the business got set in its ways and was not nearly as concerned about the new customers as they were when they first opened. Now that they have a solid customer base, they don’t try very hard to be accommodating. It’s not that they don’t want new customers; they just don’t think that they need to focus on them.
You can probably see how easily our churches can be like this donut shop. Maybe a church starts out fired up and driven to find new people. As more people come, that energy towards outreach shifts into energy towards maintenance. When this happens, we forget how hard it can be for someone to just jump right in and get plugged in when the culture is already established. One of the last things that Jesus would want for his church is for it to be unwelcoming.
What do you think people see when they get to your church? Do they know where to go or when to go there? Do they know how to get into a class or group and then do the regulars act like they are excited about their being there? Are there any unwritten rules at your church that would intimidate the newcomer?
In my opinion, the best solution to this problem is to have people who will serve as interpreters of the experience. It would have been great if a regular or an employee would have said, “Hey, you must be new here. Let me show you the ropes, and never, ever get to the counter without a clear decision on what to order or they you will get sighed at.” Imagine the church version of that. Imagine what it would look like if you and the other church members felt a clear responsibility to show new folks the ropes and teach them the unwritten rules.
Journey of Faith 